wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
