What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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