I want to make a zoo with you.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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