I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
