Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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