I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
