Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
