You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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