We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
