bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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