i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
