Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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