i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
