I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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