if i can run in heels then i can drive
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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