she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We need to get me chipped asap
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
