I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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