My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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