why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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