8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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