I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
