Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize