Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
