We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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