god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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