ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
