Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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