There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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