she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
