She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize