Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
