Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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