so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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