I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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