and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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