I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
