So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
