Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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