She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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