Porn is love you can see.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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