Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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