The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
