it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
