Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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