Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
