Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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