Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
