he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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