i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
