There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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