I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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