my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
