I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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