I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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