I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize