I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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