he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
