You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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