is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
