Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
