I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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