quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
