Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
